We dealt with the narcissistic ex-wife but it was much different than what the kids were going through. We saw some of it and the oldest told us some of it but, we didn’t know the full extent of it until the middle kid got out of the narcissist’s house. And it broke my heart to hear the things this child had to endure. I had some experience with the way she talked about the kids when the oldest lived with us but, didn’t fully know how she talked TO the kids.
If you’ve read my blog in the past, you have probably read the e-mails that the ex-wife sent to the middle kid just a few short years ago. That’s only a few and only a small does of what she has said to her own daughter. The things that have come out of this woman’s mouth towards her own flesh and blood is absolutely disgusting! She also did everything in her power to make the kids hate their father and I. She blamed me for their divorce, even though she was living with another man when I started to come around. She told the kids that I am the one that slept with their father while they were married and ruined their their lives.
She also told the kids that their father had a whole other family out in the world, they had siblings that they did not know about and that he had signed his rights away to make the mother “go away”. Well….The middle kid has done two different DNA test, along with her father and no unknown kids have popped up. The middle kid actually made jokes about it, saying how she was disappointed she didn’t get any new friends! HAHA Sorry Honey, you know all your siblings, like them or love them, they are all you got!
The ex-wife told the middle child for most of her life that she would never be able to accomplish her dreams, that she would never be successful in life. SURPRISE Bitch! She graduated high school, put herself through college and became a nurse. A nurse that worked her ass off during COVID in the worst state to work in, NY. She is now an Amazing mom to two of our wonderful grandchildren and a wife to the love of her life! We are so damn proud of that kid!
Unfortunately, the ex-wife took the oldest into her world of easy money in stripping and using drugs. She has tried rehab more than once and was once successful for a short period of time. Sadly, we do not have contact with her. Unless she needs something, then she’ll reach out. I pray one day she’ll get it together and be able to have a happy life with her three daughters.
While the oldest lived with us (she was 15/16), the ex-wife would talk about her like she was the worst kid on the planet. She would put her down, tell me that she didn’t see this kid graduating or making anything of her life if she didn’t stop being worried about boys. I found that laughable considering I knew for a fact this woman had tried setting her up with older neighborhood boys in the past. The ex-wife never believed anything this kid said. During one her mothers weekends she was assaulted, when she came home I knew something was off. She wouldn’t stop crying, she wasn’t acting like herself. She finally broke down and told me everything. My husband and I immediately called the sheriffs office, we then took her to the hospital and spent the next three hours there, got home around 2 am. The nurse came out to tell us she was done and would be out shortly, she had tears in her eyes. We went on to press charges and move forward with it, just to find out a month later that the ex-wife had gone to the DA. We got a call the next day from the DA stating the case was closed and nothing further would happen.
The ex-wife would go as far as messaging the kids friends and their parents saying all kinds of insane things to them about the kids. When that didn’t get her the reaction that she wanted, she would then start trying to log into the kids social medias and e-mail accounts. She actually got into the oldest kids e-mail and changed her password so that she could delete the e-mails she had sent her saying all the insane, incredibly ridiculous things to her own daughter. I can’t tell you how many times the oldest had reached out from a completely different FB or e-mail saying that her mother had gotten into her account and she had to make a new one.
My favorite is when she downloaded the app that changes your phone number and then you can text or call anyone from any number you choose without them knowing it’s you. Now, she didn’t call myself or my husband but, she started texting herself from a number she picked from my current state. Then she told the youngest kid and her idiot husband it was me harassing her. LOL!! What she didn’t know, because she’s not the smartest, is that I still had a FL number at the time. And the middle kid confirmed that to the youngest kid, showing him that his mother was once again lying to him to make me out to be “the bad guy” that just won’t leave her alone. And she also didn’t know that when you call that number outside of the app, it gives you an automatic message. Not a voicemail that you would normally get calling an actual phone number. The middle kid also called that number and got the message, told the youngest that he needed to just call the number because then he would know that his own mother had been lying to him.
The ex-wife worked overtime to brainwash the kids against their own father. The two older kids said that she had told them numerous times that now that him and I were married. He would never have anything to do with them again because he no longer cared about them. She told them that he had beat her and tried killing her. The middle kid said she never remembered that, even though her mother had told her she did but, she did remember seeing her mother put her hands on her father numerous times. Like she was trying to goat him into a fight to get him arrested for DV.
The ex-wife claimed for years that my husband and I had brainwashed the two older kids against her, however we hadn’t had any contact with them for well over seven/eight years when they both walked away from her, the middle kid never looked back. She changed phone numbers every time she was court ordered to give the new phone number to my husband so that he could have contact with his own kids. At some point, my husband gave up. The court’s weren’t holding her accountable and she did everything she could to keep him away from them.
The two oldest kids walked away and reached out to us, both at different times. The oldest first and then the middle a couple yrs later. Both had so many questions, had no clue what was truth, what wasn’t and both needed a lot of time to process a lot of the lies they had been told for years. The oldest knew a lot of the lies when she left her mothers home but, still needed some reassurance that my husband and I were not the bad guys we had been made out to be for all those years.
The middle kid started looking up all the court papers and reading them on her own. She had questions of course and we answered them as much as we could. There are still things that we didn’t believe she needed to know, even though she is a grown woman now. She then ordered all the CPS reports and read them from top to bottom…If there was ever a time her mother thought she might stand a chance to get back into her life, the CPS report from when she was younger (94/95 I believe) has absolutely cemented that it will NEVER EVER happen!
The ex-wife has done all this to herself! She has ruined any hope of a relationship with the middle kid or ever knowing the best grandkids a Nini (me) could ask for. A relationship with an amazing, smart and loving daughter. She is missing out on watching the grandkids grow up, become smart little humans that see life full of love and adventure! It has seriously been the best experience watching them grow and learn new things. Watching their personalities come to life, even though the youngest is a sparky one, it’s been so much fun!
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