Oh the Holidays….they aren’t always the best time of year, especially if you are dealing with a narcissistic ex-wife. If you get lucky with the ex-wife being normal, you’ll have a nice drama free holiday season. And I am jealous of you! HaHaHa! No, seriously..deep down I might even dislike you a little if you have an easy going holiday season with the ex-wife. Nothing personal!
We only had a few holidays with the kids before the ex-wife lost her shit and refused my husband any contact with the kids for about four years. And if you have read my other blogs, remember she only allowed contact again at that time because the oldest ran away and she refused to go get her and we got custody at that point.
After our first daughter was born, I was hopeful we’d be able to get the kids for Easter. To my surprise, very big surprise, it was our weekend and she didn’t buck. We got them and it was such a good weekend. They had a blast hunting eggs at my parents house. The oldest “helped” the youngest find eggs and then of course helped her eat all the candy in the eggs. We got a ton of pictures of the kids together, they are still some of my favorites!
Our first Christmas with the kids was a week late but still so much fun. We spoiled the kids that year because we could and wasn’t sure if we’d have them for any other holidays that yr. The ex-wife wasn’t exactly happy that I was pregnant with our first daughter and would use every excuse she could think up of to keep the kids from their father. She blamed me for their divorce…you can read about that in a previous blog!
The last Christmas we had with the kids was so much fun. We had a blast just playing games and hanging out. My parents came over and we took a ton of pictures, it’s like we knew it would be our last Christmas with them. It was, just seven/eight months later they moved to NY. All contact was cut off again at that point.
Father’s day was always an absolute shitshow, she would either ignore all calls from my husband or leave the house with the kids so that my husband couldn’t see them. She wouldn’t even allow the kids to contact him and tell him Happy Father’s Day. It was flat ridiculous!! And evil as fuck! If our weekend happened to be the same as Father’s Day, she would come up with a reason as to why he couldn’t see his kids. But, she would make damn sure she celebrated the guy she was dating with the kids.
Birthdays didn’t go any smoother. We just celebrated on the weekends we had the kids that was the closest to their actual birthdays. We no longer asked for extra days close to birthdays or holidays. Or asked to change days of visitation, she never agreed anyways. She would throw a fit over him just asking for an extra day with the kids.
We got so use to not having the kids for Holidays, we stopped buying gifts after about four years and it wasn’t like she was giving the kids the gifts we would mail them anyways. We even got a few boxes “return to sender” so, it was useless. It was also heartbreaking watching my husband lose his kids due to a vindictive narcissistic bitch because he moved on to a happy marriage all while she was living with another man.
The next Holiday we got with one of the kids was Christmas in 2014, it was only over the phone because we lived states away but, it we all got to talk to her and seeing my husband smile was the best gift that year! Our youngest was absolutely hilarious talking to her sister, telling her all about school and the candy she had for breakfast.
Now, we get to celebrate Holidays with the grandkids! And let me tell you, shopping for them is way more fun than shopping for the kids. I will absolutely lie if you tell the kids I said that..HaHaHa! They get so much more excited about opening gifts than the kids do, I absolutely love the giggles and excitement! The youngest granddaughter loves baby dolls and the cute little baby doll clothes make me so happy. The matching outfits they have for her and her baby dolls….are you kidding me! I’m obsessed and our daughter might kill me after Christmas….
Remember to keep it about the kids, don’t react to the ex-wives bullshit in front of the kids and don’t ever stop fighting for your time with the kids. Kids will see the truth of the ex-wives ways when they get older, give them time to understand the truth and then be there to pick-up the pieces when they are ready!
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