When we found out I was pregnant, I was so excited and nervous. I was 20, didn’t really want kids of my own at the time, I mean I was still out having a good time every weekend. The thought of having a child just wasn’t something I was ready for. I let it settle in for a couple weeks before I was ready to talk about it and tell my family.
While I was kinda freaking out, my soon to be husband was so excited! He couldn’t wait to find out what the baby was, he was ready to tell everyone and celebrate. He wanted to tell the kids right away but, I convinced him to wait a couple weeks to make sure that everything with the baby would be ok. And I wanted to find a fun way to tell them.
I had figured we would take them to their favorite place, Celebration Station and tell them there. Then we would all play the games and have some pizza. We could enjoy the day and celebrate with the kids. Drama free…or so I thought that was the plan and tried to make that the plan. Unfortunately, when dealing with a narcissist ex wife, plans do not go as planned. And almost nothing is ever drama free.
I don’t remember exactly how the ex wife found out before we got to tell the kids but, she did. And she of course acted like the narcissist you thought she would. She threw a fit from what the older kids had told us. She was literally throwing things around their apartment and acting like it was the end of the world.
So, the kids found out in the middle of a narcissistic melt down. NOT the way we had wanted them to find out. We wanted this to be a happy, fun moment for them and us. It had then turned into a moment of chaos and nothing was happy about it. We didn’t know how they felt about it because we were not allowed to see them for a couple weeks after that.
When we did finally get to see them, the girls seemed happy about it and wanted it to be a girl. The youngest didn’t seem to care much and wasn’t really interested in knowing anything unless it was a boy. He did come around after a while, I thinking seeing the girls happy and excited helped.
When we did find out it was a girl, I immediately went shopping and then surprised my husband at work with pink onesies. I drove the 45 mins to his office to wait for him to get back from a load to tell him, I was so excited! I told the whole office before he knew because I couldn’t wait. HaHa! We told the kids that weekend. They were so excited to have a little sister.
Things did calm down for a while and we were getting the kids regularly. It didn’t last long but, we enjoyed it while we could. They seemed happy about having a litter sister added to the family and they all wanted to help name her. We got some pretty crazy names from them. The oldest wanted her named after her and tried really hard to get us to do it. She may not have had a hand in naming her first little sister but, she did have a hand in naming the second one. She lived with us at the time and really wanted to help with names. Hubby and I wanted a strong Irish name for her, we found it, the oldest spelled it in a way that used her middle name. We loved it and thats her name! Trust me when I say the oldest told every single nurse in the hospital that she was the one that named her sister…HaHa!
Between the three older kids, the girls only have a relationship with one of them. And it’s a good relationship. The big sister might have “lost” some years growing up with them but, she hasn’t missed a beat with them now. They had an amazing time together this summer and the girls absolutely love being Aunts now. They think its the best thing in the world to tell everyone about their niece and nephew. Our youngest has never been big on kids but, let her niece look at her with her big blue eyes and she melts!
I Thank God every day that they loved and accepted my girls. It’s sad that only one of them has a relationship with them now but, they did love them when they were little. The oldest was the best big sister when the youngest came home from the hospital. She would jump up to get her anytime she made a sound, she begged to feed her and rock her to sleep. I have so many memories of walking into her room or the living room and finding them cuddled up together sleeping or watching a Disney movie. She would dress up with my oldest as cowgirls or play Barbies for hours. She absolutely loved her little sisters and I Thank God they got that experience with her. And thats how they remember her now.
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